Bet you can't watch all the way through.
This was originally posted to Key23.net waaaaay back in the day. It was the subject of a terrible and ridiculous flame war. The result was that I have rarely discussed or written about magic since. Writing was never about posturing or being a writer to me. It was only about sharing ideas and experiences. The fact that I couldn't do that in a community of presumably like-minded individuals (who I mistakenly thought would be mutually supportive) without people getting personal with me was so demoralizing that I simply stopped. The only reason I am sharing this now is because someone that I care about and respect asked me to.
Golden Fiction: A Brief Discourse On Hypersigils
by Sor. Ceilede 789I've been asked repeatedly to expound on this topic as I refer to it in many communications with my fellow magicians. A short and succinct reply has not been forthcoming. I've found myself wallowing in material about a topic that is just too consuming and overwhelming, and too large! Truly, I could write an entire book about this process and my experiences with it. I even created a hypersigil about creating hypersigils! These difficulties aside, I know I must begin the dialogue somehow. I've done my best at paring down the information into something somewhat easily digestible.
Boredom. I really don't get it. The only time I am ever bored is if I'm waiting on someone else. I get anxious because I want to start doing, but I don't necessarily have time to start. Know what I mean?
We, who are privileged enough with the wealth to be reading and writing this on the internet, are living in a world of miracles where there is so much information available, so much to occupy the mind and the hands. You've probably heard the phrase "if you're bored, you're boring" and as much as I hate the cliché, I think it's probably true. Find something to do with your hands. Transform yourself into the kind of person you find the most admirable and interesting. (That is High Magic.)
Why are you stopping yourself from doing the things you know you need to do? Why aren't you pushing forward in spite of your doubts and second-guesses, faking creativity until it comes? It is your aversion to these things that slows you down. You're short-changing yourself with self-loathing. Every little bit helps. Experience accrues in a spiral pattern. What is boredom, but a lack of ingenuity, a fear of your own fearlessness, the fire in your belly going dark? DO NOT LET THIS HAPPEN TO YOU. Death is down that way. Boredom is bred in stagnation and stagnation is that death.
There's an endless amount of fascinations in the world, endless forms and permutations. There is so much to do that we can start to feel overwhelmed by it. You may not consciously realize it now, but you have a destiny in mind for yourself. There is something in this world that you are passionate about, that you can accept and claim as your own purpose for being here. So start doing it. Here's how:
Make a list. What are the activities and ideas that make you feel most alive? Go towards those things in any way you can. You may not be good at it now, but believe me, anything you put your attention to can grow within you. It all accrues. You may not be able to live within your fondest thoughts in this life, but you can talk about them and by communicating them, enrich others and possibly even make them more likely to be manifested at some time in the future. Take Buckminster Fuller for example. Plenty of the things he dreamed of never came to fruition in his life, but they still inspire us today. It is a labor of love and if you love yourself (if you are not afraid to love yourself), you will never short-change yourself with self-doubt again. There is only the love and service to yourself and your dreams.
And by the way, don't be afraid to love yourself. You are strong enough to do it. Be bold and let that internal fire grow until it roars.
"Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending."-Maria Robinson
Good morning. I'd like to say today is a new day to make new mistakes, but really, today is a continuation of all that has come before. Everything we will do flows from our past experiences. Reality is built on a bedrock of history. If you can do something new that you've never done before, I applaud you. I answered a ringing payphone at the airport recently. I had never done that before, and you know who was calling? A telemarketer. That figures. I was hoping it was opportunity this time, but you know, you really are better off if opportunity comes knocking at your door. That way you can grasp it before it slips away.
Today, I would like to say that my fever is because The Secret works. I set out to be sick and I am. Why would anyone do that? I feel like my body needs these kinds of challenges once in awhile. I'm not going to say that whatever doesn't kill me will make me stronger because I've learned that isn't even true. Some things just break you down. Like cancer. But in my case, I take a lot from working through sickness and pain. I have learned patience. I have learned how to care for my body.
This is how you know when you're growing old: you start caring about what you put into your body because you realize it is winding down and if you don't start taking care of yourself, the rest of your life is basically going to suck. And also when you start to care about politics because suddenly you understand that the decisions other people make for you are actually affecting your life, your wellbeing, your livelihood. The Little Prince is still my favorite book, the star I try to navigate by.
I have often spoken of how much I love the state of feverdream. It feels good to let the mind become unhinged and unbound by conventional rules of rationality and language, to feel that those things take a backseat to pure expression at these times.
So enjoy being sick sometimes. Mandatory downtime that will result in a brighter new day after the sickness has gone. Enjoy the struggle, watch yourself watching yourself. Your aversion to unpleasant experiences is often what hurts the most.
Although I am an atheist, I work heavily with the characters we know as gods. Tonight I read Taylor Ellwood's beautiful account of an experience he had with Babalon. Communion with the gods isn't something I talk about very often with anyone so I was pleased that Taylor's experience was so very like the experiences I've had with the forms. Sometimes they come to you out of nowhere, demanding an audience and speaking in the voice of your true will.
Guerrilla Zoo and FoolishPeople present The Abattoir Pages, a terrifying immersive Halloween experience, hosted in a vast, secret subterranean landscape that was once one of London's largest abattoirs.
The Abattoir Pages combines immersive performance, art installation, haunting and treasure hunt-style activity to form a labyrinth of mystery and horror, exposing the earliest Gaelic and Pagan rites. Once inside, audience members will be free to explore the abandoned underground chambers, join the secret party or may be caught in the middle of the most terrifying of puzzles.
This Hallowe’en, the infamous horror author Helen Mayer will hold court at a debauched secret party. She will share the perverse and warped research conducted inside the old abandoned abattoir, which was the genesis of her greatest work. In this dark playground, the very nature of human terror has been tested, abused and fed into the living story 'The Forest'.
The author invites you to solve the puzzle and unlock the terrifying history within the old and powerful pages hidden throughout the slaughterhouse. Each holds a key to learning the truth of an ancient tale, which will ensure your survival.
Tonight, a debt will be repaid to blood dishonoured. An eternal nightmare rises up from the depths of the dark boreal forest, in the shadow of the mountain. It comes to feed on new meat inside an old abattoir.
• 22 October - 1 November 2009
• Halloween Matinee Performances Sat 31st Oct & Sun 1st Nov 4.00pm
• Location: The Old Abattoir, 187- 211 St. John's Street, Clerkenwell, London. EC1V 4LS
More info: http://www.apocryphon.org